There are so so many thing that have happened over the last week, I can’t wait to share all of the God stories with you! But I know what everyone would like to hear first:
WE ARE PREGNANT!!!
I love this story so much for many reasons, the first is just how present our Faith was and Gregg’s part in the whole thing. Just LOVE it! So let’s go back to Tuesday night.
Mom had made dinner for the family at our house the first night we were back. It was so nice to see everyone and do a bit of catching up. But at about 8:00pm I hit a wall! I was so sleepy i started to get loopy, saying things that did not make any sense. As I was ditching my lovely family for my bed my mom reminded me that I could take a home pregnancy test in the morning. I was really not planning on taking one seeing that it was still a bit borderline too early, but when she offered to go get a test and leave it outside of my bedroom door I told her to go for it. I still was not sure if I was going to take the test in the morning, but I did know one thing, I was TIRED!
Gregg got up with me to stay by my side while I took the test. Once I had taken the test it needed to set for at lest 3 minutes. So instead of standing there watching “water boil” we went and laid down in bed and prayed. Here was our prayer:
Thank you Father for bringing us to where we are this morning. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to take this test. We thank you for the life that could be growing in Kathleen’s womb. We thank you that even if we get a negative on this test we can rest in you. We have seen that you are trust worthy, that your plan is best. We want that plan. We give these babies to you Father. We love you.
After praying for a few minutes we both walked to the bathroom nervous to see what the results were. The test only showed one line. And as a lot of you know, one line represents that the test is working, but you are not pregnant. The test was a negative, we were not pregnant. Well, maybe not pregnant, most likely not pregnant.
This is when my faith came to life like it had never before. I was not crushed. I did not loose my faith. I do not believe in a God that only brings me the things that I want for my life. I believe in a God who loves me and has my best in mind. I may not see this “good” , but I trust in His good. My faith is not based on being a mommy.
Gregg and I laid down and prayed again.
“Thank you Father for this negative. Thank you for proving our faith to us. Thank you for loving us enough to take us on this journey to grow closer to you and to grow in our love for you. Thank you that we know that your plan is best. We choose you plan. We love you.”
At this point Gregg and I did know that the test could be wrong, but rested in what it said at this point. At 6:30 am Gregg woke up, himself needing to use the restroom this time. As he got out of bed he thought to himself, “I wonder if the test just needed more time?”. So as he walked by the test he took another look. Seconds later Gregg was waking me up saying:
“There are two lines! There are two lines! You are pregnant! It just needed more time! Your dream is coming true this morning!!!”
What a special thing to have gone through with God! And how great is it that Gregg got to tell me that it was positive! I just loved that God let us see a negative, such a powerful moment for us. And what a special and intimate gift from God to have a baby growing in me, for sure!
I think that the thing that I keep coming back to is that negative. It is amazing how even in the negative, a negative we could grieve over, God turned it to a positive. This positive not being the baby but our faith growing. What a loving God we serve.
Psalm 62: 5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
6 Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken