Let Me Read To You

This Morning I woke up at 3:30am. Jet Lag is no fun! It is much harder with a one year old! So as I write this I am very tired and on the brink of going a bit delirious. So why and I taking the time to write? I know that tomorrow holds it’s own gifts from the Lord and I want to make sure not to forget the ones from today.

Coffee, decaf, is a staple for these early mornings. Even though there is no caffeine, i still sure do enjoy it!

So back to this morning. The only good thing about waking at 3:30 was that it was not because Mac woke up but because I had gotten enough sleep! I had actually gone to sleep some time around 3:30 that afternoon so waking at 3:30 in the morning was fine with me. This was the first time I got more than 3 hours sleep consecutively in over 4-5 days!

Unpacking “station”. Really it is just where they landed… Can’t wait to be done with unpacking!!

At breakfast I told Gregg that I really wanted an initial necklace for Christmas. He asked me what initial I wanted, I said “M”. He seemed a bit disappointed that I did not want a “G”. I quickly told him if he wanted to spend a bit more I would really like both “M” and “G” for my two boys. Then I had the thought of my babies that were not named but were my babies, my boys and girls. This sent me into tears. I had not cried about getting the negative pregnancy tests (3 so far) so i was surprised a bit by my tears. Gregg told me to come sit with him on the couch. He then grabbed a book my mom and dad have written. In it is just a few of verses of God’s promises, blessings and reminders.

Not what you want to see when you are trying so hard to have a baby. But it sure does grow your Faith and for that I am eternally thankful. 

Gregg sat with me and read me all of them. I cried on his chest and I worshiped the Loving Father we worship. I thanked Him for all that He promises. This was the most amazing thing Gregg could have done for me. Words of support are great but there is nothing like the words that the Lord has for us! The comfort is beyond comparison.

Here are some of my favorites from today. Please take the time to read them, they are not just for me!

Genesis 1:1 “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.”

If he can create all that we see and all that we do not see He can make me a baby if it is what He desires for me now.

Exodus 14:14 “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still”

Being still is so much better then trying to fight!

Exodus 34:14 “Do not worship any other god, for the Lord , whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.

I am reminded that I need to keep the Lord first and not worship these bubbles.

Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

With Him I do not have to be afraid of what the future holds for me and my desire to be a mommy of many. He is with me and I can lean on Him.

Job 42:2 “I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted”

LOVE THAT! I love that even with the flu and crazy trip home God’s plan whether we are pregnant or not, nothing with stop God’s plan for our babies.

Psalm 4:8 ” I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

He does bring me peace. Thank you Lord for your peace! I can rest in you, and I do!

Psalm 28:6-7

Praise be to the Lord,
for he has heard my cry for mercy.
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
My heart leaps for joy,
and with my song I praise him.

I love that I can and do have joy in the midst of such sadness. That only comes from the Lord.

Psalm 34:8 “Tast and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him.”

I do take refuge in Him. I am safe and I know that He is good!

Psalm 57:9- 11 ” I will praise you, Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.10 For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies.11 Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth.”

There are so many more that Gregg read to me this morning. It helped me so much to really focus on what it is that God is doing and has done for me. These days are hard. Not only are they physically exhausting but emotionally I have to be on gaurd for the lies that my mind wants to believe. I am thankful for the promises He gives us. I am to tired to continue. But I want you al to know how much my relationship with the Lord and His word means to me through this whole process. He really does love us and gives us the tools to get through these things. I love Him. And I am so thankful for a husband who knows that more than anything God’s word to us is the best comfort! I am glad he gives me that and not ice cream!!

So thankful to have this little man around to keep me company! Even if he is finding new things for me to teach him is a “no no”.

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “Let Me Read To You

  1. Mom

    Precious daughter… my heart breaks for you as you go through this trial and at the same time my heart rejoices and jumps for joy for what God is teaching you.

    I know the fact is that there is nothing more precious then faith but sometimes I forget and I think that happiness (babies) is of greater value.

    Thank you for letting us walk with you through this journey of faith and love.

    So thankful that God has your best in mind! And that even after 20 negative tests you could still be pregnant if that is His will.

    He does have His best in mind for you. I love you… Daddy and I both do and we pray for you and Gregg that you will run this race with strength! I pray that we will help and encourage you too.

    Mom
    Psalm 94:18 When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your love, O LORD, supported me.

  2. Dad

    Mom already said it so well, but I also want to thank you for sharing your heart, faith and love for our Lord and Savior! We would all be better off if we would take more time to tell of His wonderful deeds! And thank you Gregg for taking such good care of Kathleen, especially thru the Word.

  3. Ray

    Love your family! I love your peace in this and I love Your heart! God does have you! I know this for sure! God, be with our family The Bowcocks and bless their desire! They have room in their hearts and lives for more of your kids! Thank you Lord!

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