I do not even know where to start with this post. God has done so much this last 2 weeks and I do not know how I am going to clearly communicate it. As a matter of fact I am sure that most people who read this will not clearly understand my words, but I believe that it is not up to me, it is up to God.
I posted on Facebook on November 28th ” I am officially not pregnant. The IVF did not work. BUT I am sitting here with JOY and PEACE! Only through the power of the Holy Sprit!! Thank you Father for the love that you have for our family and for showing us your plan at this point. I love you more today.”
I can not express how incredibly amazed I am at what God did in my heart the day that I knew we had lost our bubbles. Our babies. I know that if I had gone through this 10 years ago I would have laid in bed and cried for days. I would have been angry at God and at the world. I would have had a pity party to beat them all. After all, my dream has always been to be a wife and a mother. Who wouldn’t have a break down?
So what did I do in the moment I knew we lost our triplets. I spoke to the Lord. I thanked Him for his plan. I thanked Him for making His loving plan known to me. I thanked Him for showing me in the past that He is trustworthy and proving His great love for me over and over again.
I was sad, but joyous. We ask God a lot for Him to make things clear in our life and He had just made things clear. Right now His plan is for me to not be pregnant, maybe in the future, but not right now.
So how in the world could I be joyous??! God describes faith as starting off as small as a mustard seed and growing into a large strong tree. My faith has grown and it has grown through the small things mixed with larger things over time. I did not wake up and have Faith that could do the impossible. He has been preparing me. I am so thankful for it. Because I have to tell you, I would much rather have Joy than the pity party.
I have also loved reading the things that God tells us in His word. Scripture is never more comforting than when you are hurting or going through hard times. I weep with thankfulness when I read what He has for me.
Colossians 3:15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.