Loss

I do not even know where to start with this post. God has done so much this last 2 weeks and I do not know how I am going to clearly communicate it. As a matter of fact I am sure that most people who read this will not clearly understand my words, but I believe that it is not up to me, it is up to God.

I posted on Facebook on November 28th ” I am officially not pregnant. The IVF did not work. BUT I am sitting here with JOY and PEACE! Only through the power of the Holy Sprit!! Thank you Father for the love that you have for our family and for showing us your plan at this point. I love you more today.”

I can not express how incredibly amazed I am at what God did in my heart the day that I knew we had lost our bubbles. Our babies. I know that if I had gone through this 10 years ago I would have laid in bed and cried for days. I would have been angry at God and at the world. I would have had a pity party to beat them all. After all, my dream has always been to be a wife and a mother. Who wouldn’t have a break down?

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So what did I do in the moment I knew we lost our triplets. I spoke to the Lord. I thanked Him for his plan. I thanked Him for making His loving plan known to me. I thanked Him for showing me in the past that He is trustworthy and proving His great love for me over and over again.

I was sad, but joyous. We ask God a lot for Him to make things clear in our life and He had just made things clear. Right now His plan is for me to not be pregnant, maybe in the future, but not right now.

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So how in the world could I be joyous??! God describes faith as starting off as small as a mustard seed and growing into a large strong tree. My faith has grown and it has grown through the small things mixed with larger things over time. I did not wake up and have Faith that could do the impossible. He has been preparing me. I am so thankful for it. Because I have to tell you, I would much rather have Joy than the pity party.

I have also loved reading the things that God tells us in His word. Scripture is never more comforting than when you are hurting or going through hard times. I weep with thankfulness when I read what He has for me.

Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.
1 Peter 1:8 … you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy.
Philippians 4: 4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Ecclesiastes 7:14 When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other.
Psalm89:15-17 Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim (praise) you, who walk in the light of your presence, O LORD. They rejoice in your name all day long; they exult in your righteousness. For you are their glory and strength.
John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in ME you may have peace.

 In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I HAVE OVERCOME THE WORLD.”John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.Romans 15:13 Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Colossians 3:15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.

Well, I could keep writing but not tonight. 🙂 I will share more but for now life is busy and I am looking forward to some cuddle time with my man!
Daddy had a "helper" making dinner tonight.

Daddy had a “helper” making dinner tonight.

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9 Comments

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9 responses to “Loss

  1. Mom

    So blessed by your faith and so much more in love with the Lord as we watch you walk through this journey and get to see the power of God’s word in action! Love you both… Mom and Dad too!

  2. Erin

    We love you guys. And more importantly, is how great the Lord’s love for us is! I am blessed and encouraged by your posts. I can’t imagine how hard this hard journey has been, yet your perspective is constantly on the Lord. Thank you for your example. Thank you for sharing the Truth with us. I know the Lord is glorified. And as we seek His face, His peace will remain!

  3. Lynne

    Your words are so powerful and encouraging. Thank you for sharing your experiences publicly. I have followed your posts since you left for Thailand to become pregnant with Mac and your words are absolutely incredible. Thank you.

  4. Cynthia Stillwagon

    Thank you, Kathleen for sharing your journey. Your recitation of God’s Word is a great source of encouragement to me.

  5. Erin Torres

    Love it and love you guys. What a good God we have! Erin

  6. Lisa darby

    Jeremiah 29:11
    It’s very hard to lose precious things my friend but how wonderful to have a loving God who cares deeply for us! You are strong and full of faith, He is really growing your family in so many ways! You’re young, I pray for more bubbles to bless you soon! Love you. Lisa darby

  7. Ray n Candace Ward

    Thinking of you! Just checking in to say hi.

  8. Barb

    Thank you for your great writing & the awesome verses. Your strength is inspiring & it’s awesome to see God so relevant in your life & living in the power of the Holy Spirit is the only way to live. I pray your future be ever so bright. Cherish Mac every moment.

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