What I want more.

FAITH! That is what I hold more dear and desirable than a baby. That is saying a lot for me! Seriously… A LOT!!! Again… AA LOOOOOOOT!!!!!

This is such a crazy mind blowing thing for me.  I mean… I wanted babies for as long as I can remember more than almost anything. But God has been faithfully teaching me and taking me through so many events to show me… HIM! So much of Him! I have experienced many highs and many more lows and God has used all of them to grow my faith and show me miracles like having the peace that truly passes all understanding. And the most amazing of all is wanting His desire more than mine.

So do I want another baby? YES!!! But thankfully I want God more.  Is this possible? YES. Of course it is! I am human. But I keep my self reminded of how He has shown me faithfully that His plan is best and I love Him for that! And believe me this has not been an easy journey of faith. It has been full of highs and many lows but God is my constant. He does not change when my circumstances do. Thank you Father!!

So! On to the current journey!! If you have read our blog over the years or know us personally you will know that we have done a “fresh” IVF round and a “frozen transfer” before and both in Thailand. The first was successful and we were blessed to welcome Maccabeus Hudson into our family. The second was not successful, but if you know me you will know that it was a loss but the main goal was attained, to grow our Faith.

Dr. Supreya. We love her!

Dr. Supreya. We love her!

Why Thailand- its all about the Benjamin’s! It would have cost us 3x the amount to do IVF here in California. So instead of waiting a few more years to save the money, we saved for a year and went to Thailand. We had an amazing time and loved almost every minute. Then when Mac was about to turn one we went again to transfer our frozen babies and give them a chance at life. This trip was much harder. The travel alone with a one year old was enough to really discourage me from wanting to travel that far again any time soon!

Looks like Mac liked it as much as we did.

Looks like Mac liked it as much as we did. :/

Gregg and I knew that we wanted to try again so  we  planed our third trip to Thailand for this last September. But God had other plans. I love it when he does that. 😉 Gregg and I did some research and found that the cost of IVF has gone down dramatically and with the extra costs of having mac with us there was not a huge difference! So we waited to get settled into our new home  and then started the first step towards having a chance at welcoming a brother or sister into the family.

Mac "praying" for a brother or sister.

Mac “praying” for a brother or sister. Such a cutie! 

I first had to make sure that my Thyroid levels were up to snuff. I had my Thyroid removed at 21 due to Thyroid Cancer. So I have to take synthetic thyroid hormones to make sure that for one I live and secondly that I can have a healthy baby. After seeing my dr towards the end of January and him giving me the thumbs up I called Dr. B’s office to set up an appointment to get started!

While Gregg and I were driving to the Dr. I told Gregg that it felt so weird that we were not in Thailand. I have only known this process there. And even though I am a “veteran” I felt like this whole process was completely foreign to me.  We kept saying how nice, yet weird, it was to have nurses who spoke english!

Driving to see Dr. B.

Driving to see Dr. B. for our first appointment!

After talking to the Dr I was told that if my cycle started that day ( as I was expecting) that we would have to wait a month until my next cycle to start the process. But if it started the next day  then we would be able to start it right away.  I could not believe it came down to a day! It was going to be completely up to the Lord hen we started. Gregg and I both loved knowing that.

A few days later we were scheduled to see the Dr and nurses for our orientation and that start of the process including getting all of my meds.  This would be the ideal day for my cycle to start, and it did! God made it abundantly clear that this was His desire and plan! SO!! This means if all goes as planned (haha) we could be welcoming a fourth November baby to our family! Yup all three of us are born in November. We joke that we could have planned to not have Mac in November but this was Gods plan and so is this!

I have now been on meds for 5 full days. I have unfortunately had a rough time with some of the side effects causing me to be unable to take care of Mac or my family as I would like, but it is all for a good cause!!!

IMG_0030

Our view from the back yard. This place is a true sanctuary.

Today we went in for a check up to see how things are developing and we will find out tonight what meds I need to be taking at this point. From what the Dr could see things look good and I just need a bit more time to “cook”.

Gregg was able to take today off to take care of me and Mac, who is sick.  I am so thankful for his assistance, care and love for us. I think I am going to eat well today, yesterday I had a bag of chips for lunch…and dinner!

We are looking forward to sharing all of the things that God is showing us though this journey. I hope it is an encouragement to you in your life, even if you are  fertile myrtle! 😉  

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “What I want more.

  1. So thankful that your journey (physically) does not have to be as far, and so thankful that your journey (faithwise) is never limited. So excited for you – and you know I am a little partial to November babies myself….

  2. Tami

    So blessed! And so excited to walk with you through this walk of faith so that ours will increase too!

    2 Corinthians 4: 15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

    16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

    Love you both,
    Mom and dad R

  3. hello Kathleen~ i just want to let you know what a blessing it is to watch your journey, as well as your adorable mac!! thank you for sharing your heart and words here! we have had infertility troubles for years and we are at a place where we are wondering what the next steps for growing our family should be…just wondering if i could pick your brain as far as ivf here in the states, etc… if you have time/energy and are willing to, i’d love to chat via email… my address is mphfranson at gmail dot com. thank you! and i am praying for you and this process! 🙂 ~ marisa franson

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