This is when it gets hard.

The last three days have been very full of baby making activities! No I am not talking about sex.  Sorry, I can’t resist. 😉 So what have we been up to then? We started off with an early morning to the Fertility Center for Gregg’s sperm retrieval surgery. This should be a pretty quick procedure. They gave gregg the option of local anesthetic or sedation. Gregg laughed and said “Give me the juice”! I don’t blame him! Shoot, I would rather be knocked out for a dentist visit much less a… well anyway.

Hey good looking!

Hey good looking!

Unfortunately things were not as easy and Dr. Pero had hoped. Gregg’s procedure ended up taking a hour and a half! I was really having to fight the thoughts of worse case scenarios.  I had to keep bringing my thoughts to God and the fact that His plan is what I want. So Even if this surgery comes up with no sperm this was Gods best for us, and I want Gods best for us. Thankfully Dr. Pero was able to get some “solders” as he called them. Unfortunately for Gregg his recovery would be quite a bit longer and more painful than we all had hoped.

The next day was my turn to get the juice for the egg retrieval procedure. Thankfully for me, and for Gregg who was waiting to take me home and on no pain medication, my procedure only took about 10 minutes. Dr. B was very pleased with 8 eggs, 5 of them being very mature. This was a good number for me considering that we did “Mini IVF”.  I was especially pleased with this seeing that Dr. B had only seen 3 mature looking eggs 2 days prior. My precious husband took me home and we rested the rest of the day. 998146_10152286832749225_1587034489_n

This morning (Sunday) as gregg and I were in bed for a morning recovery nap Dr. B called with an update. We have babies! We have 4 babies! Four precious little lives that we have not meet but love and pray for.  Dr. B said that this was a very good number considering all of the biology and statistics.  These precious babes are so very loved. My heart was almost jumping out of my chest. I have four babies!! I wish I could hug and kiss them and tell them how much their mommy and daddy love them.

I told Gregg a few minutes later that this where the hard part really begins. This is the time that I really have to rely on God and his love for me and my babies.  Every baby that I have lost in the last 3 years has been a real loss. I have tried very hard to not let my mind go places like due dates and such with each of our transfers.  It is a real defense of my brain and my heart. If I let my brain run wild I would make it out of this process a woman of joy. I would most likely be a bitter and sad woman.  This is why I have to surround my thoughts with scripture of promise and love. The day is coming when we will hear if any of our babies did not continue to grow. This will be a loss, a very possible loss. Then the day will come when they transfer two of my precious babies into my womb. There is so many emotions and thoughts that swirl at that time. Then there is waiting period. Waiting to see if we are pregnant, if we still have our precious and loved little “bubbles” with us.  Then there is time we have to wait to see if they are growing and healthy.  My precious babies are so very very loved. I long to be with them. I long with all of me to meet them, to give them life.1798470_10152284720094225_1152270432_n

I have been so blessed by the Lords words to me and the comfort and joy that they bring.  I am truly looking forward to seeing what God has for us next and what he is going to teach me. Ill be honest I am REALLY looking forward to meeting these precious babies!! Man, God is so cool!

I would LOVE to hear from you and what verses help you! Fellowship is such an amazing thing and I would love to fellowship with all of you!

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9 Comments

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9 responses to “This is when it gets hard.

  1. Kimberly Marshall

    Hey bowcop and kitty!

    We love you guys! Thank you for sharing your journey! I’ve been reading and keeping up. And I’m going to pray right now that you get… Yes… Twins!! But I know God knows whats best.

    Let us know… 😉

    Sent from kimi marshall

  2. Tami

    Is it really possible for someone to have the peace that passes all understanding! YES! I love that you testify to the truth and power of God’s word and how it is alive and active in your life! God created you for this purpose, to bring Him glory! I pray for strength and truth to surround you, so thankful that God is always with you.

    Love you both

    Mom

  3. Tami

    Oh forgot my verse! This verse just holds it all together for me and reminds me of the point…. Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

    The good will always be for HIS purpose (conforming me to the image of His son so that Jesus will be the first of many!) and if my purpose is His purpose then I will always have reason to rejoice!

    and then verse 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.

    It is the reason you have joy! I love you!

    Mom

  4. Katie Moos

    Love that verse too Tami! Love following you guys on this journey! Praying!!!

  5. Christine

    You are in the States this round, Kathleen? We have been following the proceedings with awe. We will pray for a good outcome.- Christine McLean

  6. Michelle Tanner

    I love reading your blog and about your journey, though heartbreaking at times. I always rely on a simple verse when in times of need, “trust in the Lord with all your heart”. I am praying for your family 4 and the four babies!
    XO
    Michelle

  7. Erin

    “Your steadfast love, O Lord, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds. Your righteousness is like the mountains of God… How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.” Ps 35:5-7
    Have been thinking of you guys lots. Praying for you today – that you would remember the faithfulness of our Father to His children and rejoice in who He is as your minds are stayed on Him. Love you guys!!!

  8. So excited and praying for you guys! 🙂

    You keeps him in perfect peace who mind is fixed on You. Isaiah 26:3

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