These are our two precious and loved little babies that we met one week ago today. They are beautiful! We were two very proud parents and blessed to have them in our lives. We love them truly and pray that the Lord will grant them their lives.
Thursday the 13th was the transfer date and both Gregg and I were both very excited but there is also a weight of the seriousness of the moment. These ARE our babies and we know that they exist and we know that they are either going to attach or they will not and we may loose either one or both of our babies. So even with all of the excitement and there was a lot, there was also a real almost sadness.
BUT! Everything went well and I sure have had a lot of early pregnancy symptoms! Of corse those are also the same side effects that my progesterone causes! So unfair right!? What a roller coaster of emotions and thoughts this whole IVF process especially the post transfer wait is. I am constantly having to remind my self of what exactly do I want most. A Baby of Faith. My human mommy heart wants the baby, I mean that is why we are doing this, right? Over and over again I remind myself that what I really want is to grow my faith and grow closer to my God. It is not a natural desire, I was born with a real sin nature, ask my family! 🙂 But from all that God has brought into my life He has proven over and over again that His plan is the absolute best for me for here and for eternity. Believe me if the God who created this earth and knows me completely thinks something is best for me I am not going to argue.
This week has been a full one! The day after the transfer we celebrated a very laid back Valentines day. Literally. It was a wonderful day full of prayers for our babies and relaxing as a family. I kept my hand rested on my belly all day thinking of our babies and praying. It was a special time that I have cherished with each of our IVF cycles.
Just yesterday, the 19th, was our 9th anniversary! We had a pretty busy day but enjoyed a dinner at Mastros restaurant and the newest Jack Ryan movie. We had a great time thinking back on our 9 years as husband and wife and taking about our future. We even enjoyed talking a bit about possible baby names, one of my favorite topics! 🙂
The big question after a IVF transfer is when will we know if we are pregnant or not?! I thought that I would wait until the scheduled blood test this upcoming Monday but I can take it tomorrow morning. This was how early we took a test with Mac. If you remember we got a negative went back to bed and then when Gregg got up a short time later saw a faint positive! So there is a good chance that with taking a test this early we could get a negative and it could be true or it could be wrong. So to test or not to test?? A huge part of me wants to wait until Monday so that there is no question but then there is the side of me that wants to prepare. So we shall see. Either I wake up and I take it or I don’t.
My heart almost hurts not wanting and yet wanting desperately to know what the outcome is. In what way is God going to grow my faith, though another loss of our precious children or though having to parent them! 🙂 God knows best and I rest peacefully on Him.
My favorite verse of all time…
For now I take comfort in the truths that God has for me that I know are true Tomorrow we will rejoice in Him no matter what.