God ALWAYS has our best in mind, but when we have a different goal in mind we have trouble seeing this.
This morning I took a pregnancy test after much thought of what the result could mean and how the information would effect Gregg and I. The test came back with a clear negative. I stared at the test for at least five minutes. I could actually see where the other line was but that it was not turning pink. I then knew part of Gods plan for me today. I also knew that He loves me and all of those who want me to be pregnant! But for today this is His Best plan. God is already proving to me here and now that he is trustworthy. This morning mom let me take a long early morning nap and when I got up I came down with this new pregnancy information, and was honestly a bit in a daze. As I was making my Coffee The Lord spoke to me so clearly though a verse that he brought to mind.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.[a] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”
I immediately started to cry, something I don’t do a lot and had not yet done today. But I was not crying for sadness alone I was also touched deeply by the Love that God has for me and the promises that he has. He is not harming me! He is prospering me!
There is a possibility that I could be pregnant even though this early test showed I am not. It is not uncommon to get a false negative this early. But my peace and my joy today is not based on a hope for my plan but on the reality of my loving and trustworthy Fathers plan for today.
Something I want to clearly share. If I do not have these babies, if they are gone from me and with their Heavenly Father I do not believe that this was a mistake or that God was sparing children with genetic issues from
Being born. Their loss will not be a flat tire that causes me to be saved from a crash. I believe whole heartedly that God uses everything to grow and teach us of Him. The prospering is my faith not having babies.